A Bittersweet Parting
by E.R.H
Summary: What if Edith had got on the Titanic too? How would her and Patricks relationship change? How would they react when they find out that they had possibly left it too late? And what exactly is Patricks father hiding?
1. March 10th 1912

A/N: Hello everyone this is my first proper story so please be nice but would very much like reviews. Thank you in advance for any reviews. I hope the rating is okay and that there is not a story on here similar. I would also like to say I hope this story involving the Titanic isn't to sensitive for anyone it was more to focus on Patrick and Edith's relationship. There are a few quotes through the story they will make sense at the end. Okay now for the story summary:

What if Edith had got on the Titanic too? How would her and Patricks relationship change? How would they react when they find out that they had possibly left it to late?

* * *

><p><strong><span>March 10th 1912<span>**

She sat with a stern look on her face her hand clutching tightly on her walking stick. Her daughter in law knew the look on her face well. She sighed and shifted in the chair feeling uncomfortable.

'why don't you sit down and we can talk about it.'

Violet raised her hand to silence Cora and shook her head. She could not understand her logic at times and had often thought she was right to object to her son marrying an American.

'Why on earth would you want Edith to go to New York with patrick? No. it makes no sense.'

'I do not want her to go with him. I want her to go. You must admit it has been the most unfortunate season for her.'

Violet could not argue with that. She had often felt sorry for the middle Crawley daughter. She nodded and sat opposite Cora in an arm chair. Taking a moment to think she looked up at Cora.

'I suppose it could be good for her. She has had no offers of marriage and it was her first season too. Do you have a list of whom will be onboard?'

'Robert has it.'

'I see. Well I suppose if they are on a boat together, her and a suitor, it could prove successful.'

Cora opened her mouth and then closed it again deciding better then to defend her daughter. She knew how stubborn her mother-in-law could be. Violet waved Carson in with the tea taking a sip from the china cup before talking again. It was very quiet in the house and Violet was careful with her tone.

'If we get her to meet a few people and get her out from under Mary's feet it would be a good chance for both of them.'

Cora nodded and took her tea cup with a shaking hand. Violet and her hardly agreed on anything and she thought the stress of it was finally getting to her. She would talk to Robert later about it she still wasn't sure if it was such a good idea.

* * *

><p><em>"It was the kind of love that could touch you once and last forever."<em>

* * *

><p>As Cora climbed into bed next to her husband he could tell something wasn't right. He put down his book and looked over at her. The soft glow of the light next to the bed made it difficult to see her face.<p>

'Is everything alright dear?'

'I told your mother about Edith going to New York.'

He rubbed his forehead ready for an argument with his wife. He often wondered why everything had to be a struggle. He had wanted sons not for an heir anymore but for the peace and quiet it would give him. No auguring over husbands, clothes and dinner seating plans. It had got worse as they had got older and soon Sybil would go to season. It made him slightly sad to see how fast they had grown up.

'How did she take it?'

'I think she is coming round to the idea.'

He relaxed and picked up his book mumbling something about everything in its place. Cora sighed angrily and switched off her light and settled into the bed wondering why her husband was so afraid to stand up to his mother. Where ever he got his ideas she didn't know.

'Is everything alright?'

He said putting his book down just wanting to read it for once without having so much trouble getting through one page. He turned to his wife who was not facing him. The other side of the room was very dark and Cora was slow to answer.

'I just don't know if its a good idea. You know how Edith feels about Patrick.'

Robert instantly felt stressed again. They had already spoken about this and he thought they had dealt with it. Patrick would marry Mary and that would be the end of that he didn't want to worry about finding Mary a husband she was already very stubborn. Much like her grandmother. The silence filled the room and all they could hear was the crackle of the fire. Robert gathered his thoughts and turned to his wife.

'That silly old is nothing to worry about it will be fine.'

Cora couldn't help but still be concerned something was telling her it was not a good idea.

'It will be fine.'

Robert said again with more force in his voice. Cora sighed and turned to him. She studied his face it was foucsed on his book. She wondered who he was trying to convince.


	2. April 10th 1912

A/N: Hope your still reading. It does get more interesting as it develops.

* * *

><p><strong><span>April 10 1912<span>**

Edith was awfully tired and was trying hard to stifle a yawn. The car struggled to turn down a narrow road. Patrick sat next to her in the hot car and for once Edith just wanted to be alone. It had been a long train journey and all she wanted to do was go to bed. The car pulled to a stop and Edith got out. Her bad mood was lost as she looked up at the large ship in front of her. It was like nothing she had ever seen. It casted a long shadow across the dock and there were people everywhere. She held onto the back of her hat and looked up at the large ship.

'what do you think?'

Patrick said throwing her a large smile thrusting his hands in his pockets. He nodded briefly at the chauffeur who started unloading their bags. The dock was busier then he had expected and the couple who were arguing near where they were standing was giving him a headache and he couldn't help but wonder if that would be Mary and him in a few years.

'Its beautiful.'

Edith said not turning her head away from the ship there was so much to look at. She started to feel very excited. Even if she was never to be with Patrick they would be together on this ship. Without her parents and without Mary.

'That is why I'm glad you came and not your sisters.'

Edith tore her eyes away from the ship and met his in the harsh sunlight. She felt confused. She wasn't sure if she heard him right. Someone was glad she was here. He always was the only one that was nice to her.

'Sorry?'

He gave her another smile and nodded towards the ship and led her by her arm taking her closer.

'Mary would think it was nothing special, Sybil would have said about workers rights but you.'

He sighed and took in a deep breath and looked away in the distance. Edith thought he was distracted by something at first and then realized he was avoiding looking at her. She couldn't understand why. After what seemed like hours he looked at her and smiled this time it reached his eyes.

'You see the beauty in the little things. You seem to see what people cant.'

Edith didn't know what to say and was slightly lost for words. She knew it probably meant nothing to him but to her it meant everything. She smiled at him and for a moment the noise of the dock seemed to quiet and it seemed like it was just her and him alone.

* * *

><p><em>"A farewell and I will see you soon for I am sure I will."<em>

* * *

><p>'Come on lets board.'<p>

She nodded and took his arm that he offered her. She walked slowly not wanting to let go of the moment they had just shared. It started to feel awkward so she smiled sweetly and spoke as they entered the ship.

'I do hope you wont find me too boring as company.'

'I don't think it would be possible.'

He smiled again. A smile Edith had not seen often it was one she would like to see more of. As they were led to their rooms Edith had felt happier then she had in a long time and hoped it would last.


	3. April 12th 1912

A/N: Thank you for the nice reviews means a lot I'm glad someone is reading. I hope I wont let you down with this chapter. :)

* * *

><p><strong>April 12 1912<strong>

Edith stood patiently as the maid did up her corset. The maid seemed to take her time and Edith reflected on the previous day. Being the only woman in her party it meant when they went to dinner she always got all the attention with male friends and got to talk endlessly with female friends. She felt like she finally fitted somewhere. The maid helped with her dress and her hair and left her to finish getting ready for dinner. She smiled at her self in mirror and then stood up to leave the room and then deiced to go back to the dressing table and make sure her hair was alright. She had spent all day with Patrick. Even if he didn't know it she would make sure there time together would be special. She didnt know when she would spend time with him again. Hearing a knock on the door she stood. The door opened. She smiled feeling excited that Patrick would be walking her down to dinner again.

'Hello Edith.'

Her face froze. James walked into the room and closed the door. She tried her best to keep up her smile. She remembered what her grandmother said about Patricks father. He was not a very nice man.

'James what are you doing here?'

He went over to her dressing table and moved some things about avoiding looking at Edith. He had a headache and wanted to get to dinner.

'I've sent a telegram to your father.'

Edith felt very uncomfortable and the room seemed to hot. The confidence she had felt seemed to be melting away. She clasped her hands tightly feeling them start to sweat through her gloves. He turned to her and crossed his arms.

'Telling him that he needs to talk to you about Patrick.'

'Patrick?'

She swallowed hard and felt her face burning. He moved closer to her. So close Edith could feel his breath on her face. He had been drinking she could smell it.

'Whatever you think your doing with Patrick I want it to stop.'

Edith felt the wall aganist her back and realized he had backed her into the wall. She started to feel nervous as she felt him sway as he lent in close to her.

'He is to marry Mary not you.'

Edith went to raise her hand to get past him but his clammy hand gripped her wrist. The lights seemed to flicker as he lowered his voice. Edith could barley speak. He could not have her ruining everything he had planned.

'Why are you doing this?'

'I want the best for my son and I wont let anything stand in his way.'

He left for the door and Edith stood up feeling her self shake. She raised her voice and spoke even though she knew her voice was shaking.

'Is that a threat?'

He turned round his hand clasped on the door handle his breathing seeming heavy. The anger beating hard in his chest.

'No its a promise. Leave my son alone.'

He left and slammed the door. Edith sat down on the bed feeling her head spinning. She went to the door when she heard Patricks voice. She felt scared and wanted to lock her self away.

'Is Edith ready yet?'

Patrick said fiddling with his watch and checking his hair in the mirror over the fireplace. He wanted to look perfect for Edith. He stopped not knowing why.

'She wasn't feeling well. She sends her apologizes.'

Edith listened through the door. Their voices muffled by the thick wood. Patrick relaxed his shoulders and watched his father pace the room slightly. Something was wrong.

'Is everything alright papa?'

'Yes fine I just want to get to dinner.'

'Edith is alright isn't she?'

'Yes fine just tired I think.'

Patrick stopped outside Edith's room. He knew how much Edith was looking forward to the show that night. He thought it was strange and hoped it didn't have anything to do with him. He shook his head feeling disappointed and went with his father to dinner.

* * *

><p><em>"For I can not may the lord carry you safely home, watch over you and protect you from harm."<em>

* * *

><p>Patrick left dinner early stating he had a headache. He didn't want to see the show not without Edith. He entered the state room and went to knock on the door when Edith opened it. She looked ready for dinner if anything she looked beautiful. He smiled hoping it meant she felt better. Looking at her closely he realised how pale she was. They almost bumped into each other and he used it as an excuse to hold her arm gently.<p>

'I'm glad your up. Are you feeling better?'

She nodded and he moved his hand from her arm to his hand. She looked up at him feeling dazed. She had been feeling ill from earlier and was still feeling shaken.

'Patrick?'

'Come on I want to show you something.'

He went to move but she didn't follow. He looked up at her face. Something was wrong and he felt his heart drop. The room suddenly seemed colder and he reliased how she distanced her self from him. The warning from his father rang in her ears and made her go cold. She was used to Mary being horrible but this seemed different.

'I don't know if its such a good idea.'

He pulled her along and out of the room smiling at her. He checked the hall carefully he didn't want his father seeing them. She stalled and he turned to her pulling her close to him. His eyes catching her in the soft glow.

'Come on Edith we don't have all night.'


	4. April 12th 1912 2

Hope your still reading. Thanks for the reviews really encouraging. :) I hope this isn't too much like the 1997 film I watched it an unhealthy amount of times when it first came out so I think I might link the two without realising.

* * *

><p><strong>April 12 1912<strong>

Patrick flung the door open to the top deck and walked over to the middle. Edith stood nervously by the door. She just wanted to go back to bed. If James saw them, she didn't want to think about it. Patrick looked up, the cold creating a mist when he breathed out. Edith shivered slightly and wrapped her arms round her to trying to keep warm. She watched slightly confused as he laid down. Patrick waited and then smiled knowing it had worked. Edith stood above him looking annoyed with her arms crossed.

'Patrick get up now. Are you unwell?'

He pulled her down next to him and they laid together. Edith was about ask what he was doing but then he took her hand. She had wanted this for so long and now she was so unsure. What would her father say? She had always wanted to get back at Mary but she knew Mary didn't care she didn't love Patrick. Patrick. she thought turning her head slightly to look at him. How odd he was and how much she really loved him. It made her chest hurt to think about it.

'I know you wanted to see the stars in the show and with you not being well I thought I would bring them to you in a different way.'

'I don't understand.'

Edith felt even more confused. She didn't care about a little show anymore. She felt like she was getting out of her depth and was scared. He pointed upwards and Edith turned her head up to look at the glittering lights that filled the sky. She was sure the cold was making him slightly crazy. He turned to her and studied her face. He opened his mouth to talk but closed it unsure of how to say what he wanted to.

'Edith I need to tell you something.'

'Patrick please don't.'

He sat up on his elbow and saw the small tears in Edith's eyes. What he had done? What had happened he wasn't sure. He was confused. A few days ago he was to marry Mary and now. Now. He sighed never wanting a moment to last longer then right now.

'Edith I think I'm falling in love with you.'

She sat up. She couldn't look at him. She would give anything to forget James, forget Mary and to forget the circumstances. To remember how madly in love she was with him her self. She chose her words carefully. It was bad enough that she had been so open with him and now she was going to hurt him. It was difficult and her hands played with the hem on her dress while she spoke feeling nervous.

'You just think you do. We have just been spending so much time together lately. That is all it is.'

He knew exactly how she felt and took her shaking hands and held them in his for a moment. He took a long breath and looked at Edith. She wasn't looking at him. She was looking away.

* * *

><p><em>"For that is all we can hope for the ones we leave behind."<em>

* * *

><p>'Edith I know how you feel. I guess I never admitted how I felt because I was scared of what people might think.'<p>

'And now?'

Edith said her voice shaking slightly as she forced her self to look at the man sitting next to her. His expression changed and she wasn't sure what he was thinking any more. He moved closer to her he wanted to say it was to keep her warm, to comfort her but he just wanted to be closer to her not knowing when they would ever be alone together again. His father would make sure of it.

'Now...now I don't care at all. I just want to be happy.'

He took off his jacket and wrapped it round Edith. The silence filled the air and all that could be heard was the faint noise of the band playing and laughter from inside. The glow of the light spilled out from the open door and all he wanted to do was prove to Edith it would be okay. She looked at him feeling uncomfortable. What she was so scared of she wasn't sure.

'Patrick.'

She struggled with the words. She had wanted to tell him no. To be the better person but somewhere inside of her she was fed up of being the middle daughter of being the one that never got anything she wanted. He watched her carefully. Her face was calm but he could tell under all of it she wasn't sure. He deiced he would make sure that he knew exactly how he felt and that he meant it. He leant forward and kissed her. Edith had never kissed anyone before but felt like it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. He pulled away and looked at her desperately searching for something anything that would tell him it was okay. Edith couldn't help but smile at Patrick. He took her in his arms as they laid back down. She had never felt more safe then in Patrick's arms. Talking into her hair slightly he whispered.

'I promise you Edith I will make this okay. I promise.'

She closed her eyes and heard the soft waves beating against the ship. She felt scared but she deiced in that moment that Patrick would look after her and everything would be okay. Neither of them knowing that in just over two days time they could be ripped apart from each other for ever.


	5. April 13th 1912

Hi everyone thank you for all the kind reviews. I hope in this chapter to give an insight into James and Patricks relationship and give a small reason why he is so against them.

* * *

><p><strong>April 13th 1912<strong>

Patrick caught Ediths eye over the dinner table and he gave her a small smile over his wine glass so he was not seen by his father. They were sitting diagonally across the table and somehow Edith didn't think it was an accident. That morning James had strode confidently into her room not caring if she was dressed or not. He had told her in a matter of factor way, not asked, that she would spend the day with a female American friend of his and him and Patrick would be spending the day together. She had not seen him all day and was worried that he could possibly change his mind about them. The look he gave her across the table reassured her that he will make it okay like he said. She turned to the small American woman next to her. She was talking away to their end of the table about something Edith didn't understand. She was very small and loud. It reminded Edith of her mother. What she thought she was like before she got bore down by English expectations and an over critical mother in law. She was getting a headache so she left making her way down the grand stair case slowly, so she could take in all the little details.

'Edith.'

She turned and smiled at Patrick who came to the bottom of the stairs. She expected him to greet her like he always did but this time he kissed her. He was so glad to finally be alone with her again. Knowing how she could get overwhelmed he corrected the distance between them before offering her his arm.

'Would you like to go for a walk?'

James watched from the landing straining his hearing over the loud chatter and clattering from the dinning room. He could not believe how stupid his son was being. Robert would be angry with him for not ensuring the marriage of their eldest children. He followed them and called out to them. They turned seeming shocked to see him. Edith looked away and he knew she was scared of him.

'Papa what is it?'

'I wanted to make sure you got to bed okay.'

'I'm fine papa. Go back to dinner.'

He clenched his fists and knew he would have to think it through before he could do something. He nodded and turned. Edith felt faint as she clutched on Patricks arm taking a deep breath as she saw Patricks father turn and leave.

* * *

><p><em>"It is not a final good bye, not our final goodbye."<em>

* * *

><p>Patrick shook his head unsure of what his father was doing. He knew he had been drinking a lot. He had always felt afraid of him but lately he didn't. He was sure it was Edith. She made him feel anything was possible. He suddenly realised how much Edith was holding on to his arm. He thought maybe she was not well and then he realized it was out of fear. He felt confused turning to her. She had never shown her emotions much and one of fear he had never seen before.<p>

'Edith what is it?'

'Nothing.'

She smiled at him and released her grip on his arm. She had not realised how much she was clutching at it. She knew from having a sister like Mary that you do not fight fire with fire you wait, wait until they think you have forgotten and then you get them back. She felt far too bitter for her age and had often wondered what she would be like older. Now she had Patrick it didn't matter. Looking at her it suddenly made sense and he had felt an anger he didn't think was possible.

'What did my father say to you?'

'I'm sorry?'

'My father he said something to you didn't he?'

Edith twisted her fingers together and looked away. She never liked confrontation in person. she preferred, if she was to be confronted, that it involved as little people as possible and it was over quickly. She watched Patrick start pacing she saw something in him that she had never seen before. It worried her but not for her safety.

'He just said to stay away.'

'Edith did he hurt you?'

'Not really hurt me.'

Patrick stalked down the corridor. Every sense went of his body. He felt so mad how dare his father threaten the person he love. It was not his right to do so. To question who he saw was worse then anything he had done. He always controlled him trying to live his life through him and he couldn't take it anymore. He was fed up of trying to live up to expectations he would never fulfill. He heard Edith calling after him but he only picked up his speed when he saw his father.

'James!'

'Patrick?'

He looked confused and very much felt it. Patrick looked like he had just received some bad news and it unnerved him to see his son in such a state.

'What the hell are you doing threatening Edith?'

He looked over his son's shoulder where he saw Edith stop out of breath and looking worried. He knew she loved the drama. For once she was not plain old Edith. She had what she wanted she was Patricks Edith. Fed up of James just smirking at him he stood closer to him. He didn't feel so confident anymore but he couldn't go back.

'I don't care what you think. I will marry Edith with or with out your blessing.'

'You will regret this.'

He said quietly seething as he steped away. Patrick couldn't believe his father and he swung wildly at him throwing a punch that landed with a loud crack on his fathers noise. He staggered away from his father and walked away feeling so dazed. He had finally stood up to his father but it didn't feel as it should. Edith stood and turned away from James and saw Patrick walking away. He had said he would marry _her_. She gave James a dark look before going after Patrick. She felt worried and knew that this would not be the end of it.


	6. April 14th 1912

A/N: Hope your still reading. In the chapter after this one there will be a bit of a twist hopefully you will think its realistic. I will stop putting quotes in now as it will help the next bit of the story flow better. For those of you that don't know the Titanic hit the iceberg on the 14th at around 11:15pm and sank on the 15th at around 2:20am.

* * *

><p><strong>14th April 1912<strong>

**23:00**

Edith walked to her room feeling tired. Patrick had avoided her all day and hadn't come to dinner. She hadn't seen James that day either until she found him drinking in the bar. She had avoided him not wanting an argument. She knocked quietly on the door. The whole ship seemed a lot quieter after all the excitement had died down and she was alone. She heard a muffled sound from inside and walked in closing the door. Patrick had a drink in his hand and was sitting on the sofa. He looked up surprised to see Edith. He knew how it must of looked. He didn't mean to avoid her he just couldn't believe what he'd done. His father was a powerful man, a drunk. Edith sat opposite him not wanting to say anything for it might be the wrong thing.

'I'm sorry Patrick.'

'No I am. I shouldn't have avoided you today I just find it difficult to handle things like this.'

She shuffled on the sofa feeling uncomfortable. She avoided looking at him and looked out of the window only seeing black, unable to see where the sea ended and the sky started. He put his drink on the table in front of them. He looked at her carefully, watching her. She looked so calm so accepting of what ever he was going to say.

'Edith I meant what I said. I do want to marry you. We just need to sort a few things out first.'

She nodded and swallowed hard fighting the tears. She had had many conversations like the one she was having now. Not about marriage but about things like new dresses, suitors, dances and what she wanted to do. She took a deep breath and looked at Patrick. How stupid it all seemed now, how small in comparison. She watched his eyes crease slightly as he turned to look at her. As much as she wanted to believe they would get married she knew they never would. She would never be Mrs Patrick Crawley. Looking at him she realised she didn't care if they never married she just wanted to be with him. He reached across the table and took her hand. The small act meant to comfort did the opposite and Edith couldn't help but feel patronized. All they could hear was a clock ticking loudly in the room somewhere until a loud screeching filled the air. It sounded like a twist of metal. Edith feeling worried stood up and left the room. Patrick feeling confused followed her keeping his distance encase he saw his father.

'Edith where are you going?'

'Something is wrong.'

'Its just the ship they make noises all the time.'

Edith ignored him and ran to the top deck. She leant over the railings to see one end of the ship. The wind caught her and nearly knocked her over. It was cold and she regretted being so quick to leave without her coat. She turned and stumbled back. It was large and glistened past. It was like nothing she'd ever seen. It sparkled in the low light. Patrick rushed out behind her carrying her coat.

'You shouldn't be out here without your coat. Your catch your...'

He stopped the words stuck in his throat. He started to feel very hot and sweaty he had heard how even a small iceberg could sink a ship this one was larger then he had ever seen. He wrapped her coat round her shoulders both of them standing there just staring at the large iceberg rolling past the ship. The silence was shattered by the ringing of a bell and loud shouting.

'Patrick what is it?'

Edith said her voice shaking. They both knew she knew exactly what it was. They just didn't want to say it because then it would make it real. The ship rocked slightly and they heard a loud crack as a block of ice fell off and smashed as it hit the ship deck. The silence was restored again and they just stood and stared not believing what was happening in front of them. The ship rocked violently again making Patrick feel sick as he remembered what one of his friends had said at dinner. There were not enough life boats. He shook his head trying to get rid of the thought he couldn't bear to think of losing Edith. He took Ediths hand and silently led her back inside. Both knowing that this would change _everything_.


	7. 00:15

**15th April 1912**

**00:15**

He opened the wardrobe and with shaking hands took out two life jackets. He helped Edith on with hers before he put his on. He felt sick and Edith looked confused. He couldn't meet her eyes knowing that when she asked if everything would be okay he would have to lie to her. She stopped him fiddling with her life jacket making sure it was on right, taking his hands in hers. The room felt colder then it did before and she felt scared.

'Patrick.'

'We have to go the lifeboats now. Your have to go on first and I'll get on another one.'

'I'm not leaving you.'

'I will get the next one I promise.'

He disappeared into his room and Edith stood there feeling a bit shell shocked. She couldn't leave him. She had gone long enough without him firmly in her life she wasn't going to let go now. She paced slightly. If he wanted her to go then he was wrong. She couldn't leave him. She wouldn't. She realised he had been gone for some time she went over to his bedroom door but he came out putting an envelope in his coat pocket. She was about to speak to him when the door opened. They both turned and saw James standing there swaying. Patrick stood up and straightened his back taking Ediths hand and he led her out of the room and into the corridor. He turned to his father when he called out.

'What do you think your doing?'

'It doesn't matter any more this boat is going down.'

'You silly boy do you have any idea what you've done. You have ruined this family. '

As he raised his voice the lights flicked and the boat rocked. Edith stood behind Patrick and took his hand feeling scared. Looking at his father it all made sense. It was like a puzzle all fitting into place. His father was a gambler and had been struggling lately with money. He needed to inherit Downton and quickly to stop the family from going into bankruptcy. He needed the estate to keep the family status. He didn't know what his father had taken out of his pocket until he pointed it at him. Edith gasped and covered her mouth unsure as to why he was pointing a gun at them. Patrick suddenly had a rush of confidence. He didn't care about what hes cheating, lying father thought.

'What are you going to do? Shoot your own son?'

'I cant have them finding out. Not now you know.'

Staring down at the gun he suddenly felt very vulnerable. That's when the missing piece became clear. He had a gun. To inherit Downton he would need Robert to hand over Downton. They both knew he would never do that. He had worked hard and put all he had into the estate. Robert would rather be killed than to hand the estate over. It was a stupid idea but it still made Patricks blood run cold. Looking at the gun in front of him he knew his father would try anything to save his name and get what he had been promised before he was no longer entitled.

'What does this have to do with who I marry?'

'Mary has more control over the family then this weak stupid girl. No one would ever suspect me with your help.'

'I would never be a part of this.'

His father laughed loudly and Edith had no idea what they had just said or why he had a gun. She knew he was a horrible man but a man with a gun. Never. The ship rocked slightly and Edith felt her stomach drop as she saw James reach in his pocket and put what he had taken out into his gun. Patrick had whispered to her and they left quietly. They weren't running at first but they needed to get away.

'Down there quick!'

He took Ediths hand and they stood against the wall in the stairwell. Edith hadn't realised how far down they were in the ship till she felt the cold metal against her back. They were in steerage class. They heard heavy footsteps thudding on the floor above. He closed his eyes for a moment and took Ediths hand praying to every god he had ever believed in that they would be okay. He felt Edith stiffen next to him and opened hes eyes as the footsteps grew closer. The shadow crossed the stairs and Edith couldn't help but hold her breath and clutch tightly onto patricks hand. The shadow came back to the stairs and grew larger as the person came closer. The footsteps rattling the stairs as they neared.


	8. 00:45

A/N: Thank you for still reading. I wanted to show what their relationship would be like and how deep it could be especially when they are vulnerable and scared and in the next few chapters I hope to show that.

* * *

><p><strong>15th April 1912<strong>

**00:45**

'What on earth are you doing down here? Every one must get up to the top deck. Go now.'

Edith and Patrick shook as they breathed out a sigh in relief. A ship steward stood with his arms crossed in front of them. He nodded and smiled never letting go of Edith's hand. He felt as though he had just escaped a death sentence. He walked slowly up the stairs with Edith. He felt exhausted and wasn't sure what they would do now.

'Patrick what is going on? Why did your father try to shoot you?'

'Edith you wouldn't believe me even if I told you.'

'Please.'

They stopped on the second class landing. Patrick felt far too hot and flung his coat on the floor. He cursed as he tried to untie his life jacket. Finally managing to get it off he threw it to the floor. An action that would ultimately lead to his demise. He turned to Edith and held her arm gently not knowing how to tell her.

'He needs the estate to stop him self going bankrupt. If I was to marry Mary he thought it would be easier to control your family after Roberts death.'

Edith stood shocked. She watched his face change almost as he realised something. He picked up his coat and helped Edith into it. She objected saying she wasn't cold but he helped her into it anyway. She couldn't get her head around it. She felt awful knowing that her father could be in danger. Why did she always have to think of her self and no one else?

'Don't take this coat off. Promise me?'

She nodded unsure of why Patrick was acting so strangely. Then she considered that his father had pointed a gun at him that was enough to make anybody go crazy. Mary had driven her mad and she didn't even have a gun. Though sometimes it seemed like she did. The way she held the room hostage with her stare and the way she managed to hit her exactly where it hurt. He leant against the wall trying to get his head together. How could he be a good husband if he couldn't keep her safe? That's all he wanted. Edith wearily went over to the stairs and looked up. She wanted to keep Patrick safe and wasn't going to let anyone hurt him not anymore. Not James, not Mary. She felt Patrick at her side. He took her hand. She looked up at him her heart aching knowing she could lose him. He led her back the way had come.

'Patrick we need to go up not down.'

'There has to be another way out. James will be waiting for us.'

The ship made a loud creaking sound and the lights dimmed. He didn't want to lead her down the dark flight of stairs but he didn't know what other choice he had. The ship moved sharply and Edith slipped. She didn't let Patrick know how much it hurt she knew he was feeling bad enough as it was. They had ran down many stairs Patrick never letting go of Edith's hand. He felt if he did he might lose her for ever. Hearing a splash under his feet he looked down there was a small gush of water in the corridor. He looked back at Edith. All she could do was nod at him and squeeze his hand. As much as she knew it was getting worse she wanted to believe with every bone in her body they would be okay and she had never trusted anyone in her life more then she trusted Patrick right now. He took a breath and walked further, the icy water seeping into his shoes. The lights dimmed and didn't come back on. Patricks hand tracing along the wall trying to find a way out.


	9. 01:15

A/N: Hi everyone only a few chapters go. I do hope this chapter isn't too mushy though I did write it late at night while listing to mellow magic on the radio probably did not help at all!

* * *

><p><strong>15th April 1912<strong>

**01:15**

'We have to go and get a life boat now. There wont be many left. I want you to go Edith. I have to stop my father.'

'I'm not leaving you.'

She stopped in the near dark feeling angry. It wasn't fair. She spoke again trying to stay calm.

'Why do you have to be so brave its going to get you killed.'

The words hung in the air like fog in an early winter morning. She could hear muffled cries and the sweet music of the band playing some where above them. It was staring to get very cold. They had managed to get away from the water by finding a stairwell but they were still deep within the ship. The water now swirling around their knees making it difficult to walk quickly

'No Edith I need you to go now. No arguments your going. '

She nodded the tears streaming down her face. She had never felt more alone then she had in that moment. She didn't see it like he was sacrificing him self for her she just saw it as another person leaving her.

'Will you at least come with me?'

It took them ten minutes to find the deck. Edith was shivering from the cold. Her eyes adjusted to outside light. She couldn't believe what she saw. The ship was tilting to the right and it made it difficult to stand up. There were crowds of people everywhere. They were fighting each other and shouting. When she heard a quiet screech she turned to see the deck furniture sliding slightly down the deck. Patrick saw the fear in her eyes and took her hand leading her to the front of a jostling crowd.

'I just need you to promise me when your on the boat you wont look back. Don't look back promise me Edith _you wont look back._'

She nodded the best she could and wrapped her arms around him closing her eyes trying to block out the noise. For a moment all she could hear was the band and the slow hiss of the wind.

'Edith I want you to know these few days have been the best of my life.'

'This is not goodbye Patrick.'

'I sure hope it is not but if it is.'

He smiled the best he could and took her face in his hands and looked her in the eyes.

'I love you Edith always remember that.'

He kissed her and felt the tears in his eyes looking at her face trying to take in all the details because he knew it would probably be the last time he ever saw her. He wasn't ready. If only he hadn't been foolish and wasted so long. He almost felt if their love was cursed. The few days they had spent together were the best in his life and he didn't want to let them go.

'I love you Patrick.'

She couldn't look back. Look back at the man she was leaving. The ship steward didn't look at her. He picked her up and put her into the small wooden lifeboat. Edith looked up at the sky as she heard a bang. A flare lit up the sky like lighting and danced around in the dark until it died sinking into the ocean. It was the most beautiful but heartbreaking thing Edith had ever seen. Looking round she couldn't see anymore lifeboats. She panicked but she couldn't get off the boat.

'Lower her down quickly!'

The steward shouted and raised his hand. The boat shuddered and shook as it started to lower. It was slanted at an angle and the woman next to her was crying. She felt every bone in her body aching from the cold. Her hand clung onto the wood as she tried to stand up. It wasn't possible and she felt like all control was gone. She cried out not knowing what else to do.

'Patrick!'

She looked up at the Titanic hoping that Patrick would be getting on a lifeboat. She strained her neck and looked up further to see the familiar mass of blonde hair. She reached out for his hand but it was too late the lifeboat had swung out to far and their hands couldn't meet. He clutched onto the edge of the boat looking down at the woman he loved so much for such a short time. All he could do was nod at her and give her a smile. The boat made a loud smack and splashed icy cold water inside the boat as it dropped into the sea. She looked up and saw people trying to climb into the lifeboat. It was a desperate situation and she had never felt more guilty in her life. Patrick was gone and she wondered if she had even dreamed seeing him there giving her reassurance. She tried to cry out but her throat filled up with tears. _She couldn't just leave him._

**2:20**

She willed her self not to look. Don't look back. The words played over in her head. _"You wont look back. Don't look back promise me Edith you wont look back."_ That's when she heard a loud crack turning her head she saw the lights flicker out and the ship break in two. As the ship sank she felt as though part of her heart went with it. Patrick would be okay. He always was. _He always would be._ She felt sick as she clung onto the boat. She wanted to cry but she couldn't bring her self to do it not when people had lost so much more then her. She told her self that there had to be another lifeboat. On the other side of the boat surely. They wouldn't just leave him. _Would they?_


	10. April 15th 1912

A/N: Thank you for the reviews. I should finish this story within the next three chapters.

* * *

><p><strong>15th April 1912 <strong>

It was a beautiful morning, the strong sunlight shining through the window casted long shadows in the room. Robert, despite the confusing telegram from James, felt happier then he had in a long time things were starting to fall in place. Carson held the paper in his shaky hands. He didn't want to be the one to break the news. To break the calm that had come to settle at Downton. He grew more breathless with every step he took. He's shoes echoing louder as he went quicker. Robert looked up at his butler, who had just entred his room, smiling until he saw the look on his face.

'Carson what is it? Is it the girls?'

Carson shook his head his mouth feeling dry. He handed over the newspaper with heavy hands. Robert held it for a moment before he let it drop to his side. It crumpled slightly in his hand. He rubbed his forehead trying to make sense of it. His thoughts jumped widely his friends, his cousin, his heir. _His daughter._ He couldn't help but go cold. He thought of last night. He had felt so happy and now he felt awful. He couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say. He looked up at his butler. He looked so sullen, so guilty.

'Does Cora know?'

'No my lord she does not.'

He nodded. He had to break the news him self he couldn't let her find out any other way. It wouldn't be easy. He still clutched tightly at the newspaper hoping it wasn't true. He took a deep breath before he opened the connecting door. The peace and calm he loved so much was going to be shattered for ever. _Things would never be the same again._

* * *

><p>'It's Patrick Crawely. C-R...'<p>

'Miss please I have checked the list twice he's not on it.'

She clutched tightly at the stewards arm. He had to be on the there. He couldn't not. It had seemed like days before the boat arrived to rescue them. Her thoughts were interrupted by two women crying at the man who she was speaking to. She turned away struggling to keep the blanket wrapped around her. She went over to the railing her hand creasing slightly as she held onto the cold metal. She looked over the calm ocean feeling sick. _How could it be so different from last night?_ Patrick was out there _somewhere. _

She turned and looked at the crowd of people gathered on the deck. For a moment she caught a glimpse of someone who looked familiar. _Patrick?_ She pushed through the crowd feeling desperate to find him. Caught up in the crowd she lost sight of the man for a moment and when she managed to get through the crowd he was gone. If it was him she wasn't sure. She tired to call out but the silence was pierced by a woman crying. She did not realise it was her until she turned round and the wind caught her tears on her face. She felt her legs buckle and she collapsed onto the deck. It could not be _her_ that had lost someone so young. Someone so precious. _It could not be her._


	11. April 28th 1912

A/N: Thank you for reading. This is the second to last chapter.

* * *

><p><strong>28th April 1912<strong>

The rain was getting heavier on the roof making a loud tapping noise. The windows were smudged with water as the motor traveled faster. She sat up and looked out of the window tracing a rain drop with her finger making a mark on the clean glass. Sighing loudly the window clouded for a moment. She moved to the seat in front of her and opened the window to the driver. The wind hit her in the face.

'Is everything alright milady?

She didn't answer him.

'Milday?'

He said turning his head slightly wondering why she hadnt answered him. He wondered if she could hear him over the loud hiss of the wind. He slowed the car to turn and look at her. She wasnt looking at him almost looking past him a blank expression on her face. She looked awfuly sad and he had no idea what to do. Then it was almost like someone had shook her back to realiailty.

'How long till we arrive at Downton?'

'Not long now milady about half an hour.'

'Thank you.'

She said closing the window slowly and going back to her seat. She looked at her gloved hands clasped tightly on her lap. How trapped she felt by Downton. What would they all say? Had her father got the telegram? She was lost in her thoughts staring down at her hands trying to figure out how she would get through the next few months.

'Milady.'

She looked up at the drivers window.

'We're at Downton.'

Looking up at the house it was covered by a dark cloud. As the door opened so did an umbrella shielding her from the heavy rain. Cora and Robert waited in the hall. They had sent the girls to their grandmothers unsure of how Edith would be when she came home. They stood close enough for comfort but not close enough that people would notice. All Cora wanted was for Robert to hold her hand but she knew he was terribly too English for that and she was terribly still too American to understand why. She wanted her daughter to be okay she after all had agreed to send her to America. The person she saw in the hall that morning was not the daughter that she remembered. She walked so slowly and spoke so quietly. Almost as if to do any different would disturb a peace she had found. She didn't say much she just went upstairs. Asking to be left alone. Cora turned to her husband and all he could was shake his head. She looked at her husband and saw the look in his eyes. He was just as lost as her.

* * *

><p>Edith sat on her bed silently watching Anna unpack the few belongings she had left. Anna said nothing and unpacked carefully. She took out a coat she didn't recognize and then she realised it was a mans coat. It made her go cold as she thought it was probably the last thing Patrick had worn.<p>

'What would you like me to do with this milady?'

Edith didn't say anything but she took the coat in her arms and sat back down on the bed. She felt empty as she fingered the coat and turned it over in her hands.

'I'd like to be left alone please.'

Anna had been in service enough years to know you left when they asked and with a firm click of the door she was gone and Edith was alone. Turning the coat over again something fell out of the pocket. She leant forward to pick it off the floor. She stopped her breath caught in her throat as she saw the filmair writing on the front. _Edith._ She slowly opened it as if tearing it might damage it in someway. It was a letter Patrick had written to her. She remembered it in that moment. _He had been writting a letter on the night the boat sank._ It was a goodbye letter. She folded it up not wanting to read anymore as if doing so she would have to let go of Patrick for ever.


	12. The end

Thank you for all the reviews. I liked this story when it started now I've gone off it a bit but have finished it liked I planned. I hope to tie up a few loose ends in this chapter like the quotes I had put in. Thank you for reading.

* * *

><p>When the new heir arrived at Downton Abbey Edith tried her hardest not to hate him for taking Patricks place, for falling in love with Mary and not even noticing she was there. She gradually grew to accept him. She had tried to pretend like it had never happened and then it wouldn't hurt as much. Edith would finish reading the letter many months later.<p>

_Do not think of this as a final goodbye, our final goodbye. A bittersweet parting for it is not. It is a farewell and I will see you soon for I am sure I will. A temporary goodbye. One I hope is full of happiness, excitement, time and love for that is all we can wish for the ones we leave behind. For I can not may the lord carry you safely home and watch over you and protect you from harm. I want you to know that you will always be my Edith and I will find my way home back to you whether that be in life or death._

_Yours always,_

_Patrick_

And if somewhere somehow Patrick was alive and had survived and whether or not this would be his first but not his last goodbye letter to Edith she would realise that no matter how may people stood in their way, how much time stood between them, how far the land or how wide the oceans she would _always_ be _his_ Edith and he would _always_ be _her_ Patrick.

_The end_

* * *

><p>I wanted to leave to open for you to decide with P Gordon really was Patrick.<p>

Thank you for reading.


End file.
